tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46181772546585441272024-03-13T00:24:05.480-07:00Life as a WHaleYes. My name is Whitney Hale.Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.comBlogger110125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-87893507631169012332013-06-02T13:43:00.001-07:002013-06-02T13:46:56.138-07:00Bennett's First Birthday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Bennett,</div>
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On the day you were born, your family gathered around us in
the hospital bed, and with eyes wide open, you followed every face and every
voice. We watched in awe at the miracle you are. Holding you for the first time
felt like home. </div>
<br />
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<img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUkN50nXjPhuP3YpkewP_Er63q6fw0u2zMQCUBW3FsVOD7cHZFcpHkOdQVjwtZy2mpL7wqrYGItEiDmUDderwN2rvrCXsyu38gpKyeMziQII7TOTmqc8MIBT84OIdH8EbTQTAA4TSnojap/s320/IMG_8847.JPG" width="320" /></div>
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<br />
And when we brought you home, you were so peaceful and
sweet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I spent so much time loving your newborn smell, staring at every detail of your hands and feet, enjoying your squeeze of my finger, and memorizing your perfect face. I spent a lot of time just being grateful for another miracle. </span><br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh91ZshEkW8fVrC0RSnprRbGlyxIbeC2qIaesgXhO0B7M59GXQkSkmPDYGNfSTtX0f2hgqazQ9xplYj0BOvo3zySxdSf-T-L5qvStWE-nhyphenhyphencA8QcuMNAyOuFLZUMDLQvxZ6po1cbRd1RmI4/s1600/_MG_0065bw.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh91ZshEkW8fVrC0RSnprRbGlyxIbeC2qIaesgXhO0B7M59GXQkSkmPDYGNfSTtX0f2hgqazQ9xplYj0BOvo3zySxdSf-T-L5qvStWE-nhyphenhyphencA8QcuMNAyOuFLZUMDLQvxZ6po1cbRd1RmI4/s320/_MG_0065bw.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A couple of months later, an unrivaled
personality set in. Your smiles and laughs are truly infectious, and
you are mischievous in every way. You were not as quick to talk as your brother,
but behind those eyes, you are endlessly scheming. You love to dance, sing, crawl,
and talk.<br />
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<br />
Within 24 hours of your birth, we found out that you had a
heart condition--a pulmonary valve stenosis, and within 4 months, you had a procedure on your heart by
catheter. I have never been more scared, and I have never felt more helpless. But
God saw fit for you to not shed a tear or be in any pain from the moment you
came out of surgery until the moment you left the hospital the next day. </div>
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<br />
I wish I could explain to you what it is like to love you. I’ll
use words, but the soul-gut-love just cannot fit in them. The switch from one
son to two has undone me. I never feel prepared. I never feel control. I never
feel accomplishment. Instead I feel overwhelmed, incompetent, and entirely
helpless. I have no hope of mastering this role anymore, but God is having me
give in. Give in to ER visits. Give in to filthy carpets. Give in to spaghetti
caked hair, muddy shoes, Spiderman instead of smocked, and exhaustion. But motherhood,
with all its unspoken mysteries, has consumed me in a tidal wave of the most
beautiful helplessness I have ever beheld. God is using an unexplainable LOVE
to break the idolistic strongholds of my world. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
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<img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsXNl5jgLzO5CtofRgzoU5IRSMLY38aAuC1hxI_jfj3i5fYGh64ohgAqbbVUjMMEHmOxc7ZBt_uYut04vC7uZyrZwetzwpKdj6gmDZDVrWZgvroqP2fR7kBrgRwKcUAE8wErPisI62ZyA-/s320/iPhone+pics+231.JPG" width="320" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And at the end of each day, when we put you to
bed, your dad and I exchange knowing glances. Those expressions are something
that only a mother and father share. They say, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You</i> know. And <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I </i>know. But
there are no words for this miraculous…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thing
</i>that we are beholding together."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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<img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDjIq5eMUrqDm7UnHizPw_TjXvWvraQcUAFp0K8jYyddjK69Ymsyz2ANm1Y8K5H1ZOFEUdmIIQ7Gnvgcqu6MEk-q5_aMDcHXFwEHWdaanLQOspoeqo1Bm7vSh_r4ZsW56yj8EmXsGzhaB_/s320/Bennett+Fixed.jpg" width="213" /></div>
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I hope you know that you will never outgrow our love. We love you unconditionally, and we will walk with you through every part of your life--even and especially the parts that aren't pretty. We want you to fall desperately in love with Jesus and know that as He forgives your parents, He forgives you, and He loves you more than we ever can or will.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjobUcexsQsDadocz403e5qyWRk5VoMcjepAg_6iroYpvoRg0S2my0WQ-KOeeuY3kYMdllbGaD0fT9hgaDJhMdVPkbZb9W1d7poSS0Vg13tZ8LaHgr14C27XcY8yqRE0TPJKvTzy1QNDanR/s1600/b9.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjobUcexsQsDadocz403e5qyWRk5VoMcjepAg_6iroYpvoRg0S2my0WQ-KOeeuY3kYMdllbGaD0fT9hgaDJhMdVPkbZb9W1d7poSS0Vg13tZ8LaHgr14C27XcY8yqRE0TPJKvTzy1QNDanR/s320/b9.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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I love you with all that I am,
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Your Mamma</div>
<br />
<br />Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-70773141227383832302013-03-02T05:01:00.000-08:002013-03-02T05:01:01.310-08:00Encouraging WordsI caught up on my blogs this morning, and found the following at Rage Against the Minivan:<br />
<br />
"Day
care didn't break my bond with my parents, and it certainly didn't
dilute the values my parents instilled in me. Although I was in day care
for years, I can’t remember a single childhood caretaker’s face or
name. My mother’s voice and lessons, however, ring in my ear every day."<br />
<br />
This comes from a girl who spent most of her young life in daycare.<br />
<br />
Thanks, whoever you are, for helping me with the fierce mamma guilt. <br />
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Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-57053764419721274472012-09-03T19:02:00.004-07:002012-09-03T19:02:55.885-07:00Supercalafragilisticexpealadocious<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLn3_kIgaPsw4QxhEZXMHbNhT-LUM-x58EkMzwOGMwS7236gtRISbxyH7IkJSFtbr9g973P9DAlM5R5TKOZKcr0n5IpiZXbfw2aadbvJPlXAPV9NgeO9xyPIhHKJ3iv22zeHNTzlgBcmcG/s1600/109775309637926524_RMxCdarZ_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLn3_kIgaPsw4QxhEZXMHbNhT-LUM-x58EkMzwOGMwS7236gtRISbxyH7IkJSFtbr9g973P9DAlM5R5TKOZKcr0n5IpiZXbfw2aadbvJPlXAPV9NgeO9xyPIhHKJ3iv22zeHNTzlgBcmcG/s320/109775309637926524_RMxCdarZ_b.jpg" width="320" /> </a></div>
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It's blurry. But I'm too busy to fix it. I have more important mom things to do. Like reading more quotes on pinterest. For those of you who aren't moms, that's all we do. Get on pinterest and facebook. Trust me. </div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I'll come back to tell you about my week away from social media. Maybe I'll get all self righteous and start talking about how awesome I am for doing that. Oh, wait. No, I won't.</div>
Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-36087137923906039212012-07-29T13:28:00.001-07:002012-07-29T13:28:35.773-07:00Rolling in the Weep (Cheese Sauce, I Know)I spend much of my days frustrated and tired and broken.<br />
<br />
I think a lot about the huge number of people who are homeless, poor, abused, depressed, unemployed, sick, abandoned, hurting, and dying.<br />
<br />
I really do. It utterly and completely breaks my heart in a way that sometimes makes me weepy.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I'm just vacuuming or reading an article or making Bennett some milk (the evil, unhealthy formula that I feed him.), and I get all teary eyed because I overwhelmed with something deeply painful in this world, and I want it fixed.<br />
<br />
But most of all--I get really weepy for orphans, and I get really weepy for children who are in horrible home environments. Jed's probably tired of my weepiness over this one. <br />
<br />
We have several friends who have adopted children and are in the process right now. Asian children, newborn children, African children, two year old children, American children, sibling groups, 19 year old children, children with learning or developmental disabilities, and perfectly healthy children.<br />
<br />
It makes me so excited. It makes me a little more weepy though. Happy weepy--it's way different and much more fun.<br />
<br />
No--I'm not announcing our intent to adopt. We don't know what the future will bring for our little family. But for now, I got weepy this afternoon over these boys.<br />
<br />
Amidst all the sad things in this world--God gave me and Jed two healthy, happy little bugs. I tear up when I think about how awesome it is that we have each other. That even though they will sin like the little rascals they are, and their parents will let them down, and we'll all fight sometimes, we have each other. And we won't leave each other. And we all get to experience love every day. We all get to take care of each other and we all get to teach each other a million little lessons. <br />
<br />
<br />
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<img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY4PpZ1XlqeVLJspTUxshIf7Lc2S-bRuOeoYYYZ0L74aXCPC-NTSqK2YcWuXEdkZdKofMdi9eYZo-nC5P5xLsbxIOmcdpRHstjIDIVCDi2T4AxNAIvR1cfcUPSxfX3wMIJ4qlVwSKzqfKb/s320/b1.JPG" width="320" /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYshdTAg6DSulaFhyuFmVEZwxzTZjn-R6pXzNS5oeG7elmr4LpHiMAjTyLnlgLxSpgzIDZfRky3JtKPLaF9FTTAZ-tDwRik9f3ImxTc_IjnNG5HmfIkN65jV75KZNHUTAYRqhzSFTi6RIp/s1600/bra.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYshdTAg6DSulaFhyuFmVEZwxzTZjn-R6pXzNS5oeG7elmr4LpHiMAjTyLnlgLxSpgzIDZfRky3JtKPLaF9FTTAZ-tDwRik9f3ImxTc_IjnNG5HmfIkN65jV75KZNHUTAYRqhzSFTi6RIp/s320/bra.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
These are two moments I want burned into my mind. They make me know glory is going to be awesome. And they make me thankful that in this terrible, awful world, there is a God full of mercy and grace who loves me and holds me every day.Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-71058735755246505202012-07-26T20:12:00.002-07:002012-07-26T20:12:27.723-07:00Servanthood. Psh.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;">Unfortunately, I obviously suck at remembering and prioritizing this blog. But here I am tonight.<br />
<br />
Y'all, one thing I love to do is work out at the gym and listen to podcast sermons. A friend told me about Mark Driscoll (don't judge. i'm bad at staying in touch with the pop christian culture and didn't know who he was. hello, mars hill, i love you.), and I have been listening to his marriage series. Youch. They're pretty killer. And, by killer I mean awesome.</td><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td style="text-align: left;"></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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So this morning I listened to that man talk all about serving one
another in a marriage. I found two things that he said particularly
helpful:<br />
<br />
<br />
1. Serving others together is <i>not </i>serving one another. It's good and all, but it is not serving one another. So start serving one another too.<br />
<br />
<br />
2. Serving your family is <i>not</i> serving one another. It is serving your family. So start serving one another.<br />
<br />
There was much more. And these points were obviously more profound, but I think ya'll should just listen to his sermons too. Just trust me. Get em on your iPhone, hook it up in the car, and tell those precious, darling kiddos to shut their yappers while you listen.<br />
<br />
JOKING!<br />
<br />
Get it? Because they NEVER shut their yappers? <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIV-pCqV_N8L3f9MhlFe3UGn8kFr1PIIc3VVeF_hcr9tU7CENM6WyBe34eJXzZXuQsEtj-KbutbV7-b_R5K6bNauvA-wEsqkj-ueyIJOeo5Bea8pBk2ll8jmoHADs4RdCIEu56IoxEXJUo/s1600/IMG_1845.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIV-pCqV_N8L3f9MhlFe3UGn8kFr1PIIc3VVeF_hcr9tU7CENM6WyBe34eJXzZXuQsEtj-KbutbV7-b_R5K6bNauvA-wEsqkj-ueyIJOeo5Bea8pBk2ll8jmoHADs4RdCIEu56IoxEXJUo/s320/IMG_1845.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Jed serving me--digging a shard of something outta my foot.<br />
I need housewife worker's comp. True that.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First picture I remember taking with Jed. I was a sophomore, he was a junior.<br />
I had a killah crush on him here, and I think he found out I existed 15 seconds before the picture. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0jc0_rSygXzCe_1i3lVeDkSu9VFw-HgUzD0X7Ssah3Dtni-c2FVZ-EQHYphhJtV2BDLOzus9S2TfpSfBQuowHbocbEzF8ZSwvcTcNkLKAhXVacQ7wVh0NQTCkYtr6e9EsIkR2GG64eNhb/s1600/IMG_2064.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0jc0_rSygXzCe_1i3lVeDkSu9VFw-HgUzD0X7Ssah3Dtni-c2FVZ-EQHYphhJtV2BDLOzus9S2TfpSfBQuowHbocbEzF8ZSwvcTcNkLKAhXVacQ7wVh0NQTCkYtr6e9EsIkR2GG64eNhb/s320/IMG_2064.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My junior year, Jed's senior year. I was on homecoming court, and Jed was on the football team. The one that lost the homecoming game. He was a bit angry at the thought of taking a happy picture immediately following the atrocity. </td></tr>
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<br />Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-58944143503416715902012-06-26T13:05:00.000-07:002012-06-26T13:05:59.150-07:00The Best Full-time JobI am looking for a full-time job. It is hysterical to me that when I go to work with grown-ups, I will get paid money. And it will be easier than what I am doing here now. It will. Someone might say "thank you" when I do something nice. I won't have to tell them, "Say thank you." Someone might even ask me how my night last night was or how that dinner was that I'd been planning. No one will cry because they want applesauce instead of bananas or outside instead of inside. I won't have to put anyone in time out. I'll have deadlines that are weeks away, not in 5 minutes. I'll dress in cute clothing instead of yoga pants and a t-shirt with no-make up and my hair in a hot mess on top of my head. I'll go to meetings where people don't talk on top of each other or scream until someone listens. I'll probably even eat lunch at a table instead of while chasing children. <br />
<br />
But you know--I'll probably still have goldfish on my pants where my kids hugged me. Just a thought. And I'll probably keep it on my pants because it reminds me of them and of how they love me and how I'm the luckiest person in the whole world because I have two little rascals who drive me nuts and never thank me and are loud and dirty and stinky and demanding.<br />
<br />
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Those kids really are the best job in the whole world. And they're really cute too.Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-37106811813124530322012-05-15T14:59:00.001-07:002012-05-15T14:59:53.352-07:00Braden, On Your Second BirthdaySon,<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can still hear your first scream, imagine your sweet
newborn face, and smell your newborn smell. But you are now two. You are learning
to talk, look like a boy, and smell like adventure. You like trucks,
sticks, mud, water, and airplanes. You are loud, you throw back your head confidently
when you drink from your sippy cup, you refuse assistance, and you throw a ball
like a champ. </div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
You are all boy.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdlLJqJMT_4WYZLqXPkopNx7YoNLhTAZ11elTI1kUtrFkQD9ooQnshePCHmk1cl-VWpXlTema7GXP3va2YEiTiu8lbwJEAjGmfm6_CH_VqrSxWSbYSXqa184Vxz27ibRU2043yGczBVV3Q/s1600/IMG_8430.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdlLJqJMT_4WYZLqXPkopNx7YoNLhTAZ11elTI1kUtrFkQD9ooQnshePCHmk1cl-VWpXlTema7GXP3va2YEiTiu8lbwJEAjGmfm6_CH_VqrSxWSbYSXqa184Vxz27ibRU2043yGczBVV3Q/s320/IMG_8430.jpg" width="213" /> </a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4vZqL8JW28UcY_jjOjVo17Bjtr6pqmk47-OwmI0GkId2O2rw1RylU2mnIjIJKieU1CopIXw9evy0agVKHw3V5G0TZaTfZ-fgUur0DFyUpB7c2NmbO5aZ1DL70BD4Zs9f3nKqj4M1QH3f-/s1600/GSPhoto_BradenHale-18.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4vZqL8JW28UcY_jjOjVo17Bjtr6pqmk47-OwmI0GkId2O2rw1RylU2mnIjIJKieU1CopIXw9evy0agVKHw3V5G0TZaTfZ-fgUur0DFyUpB7c2NmbO5aZ1DL70BD4Zs9f3nKqj4M1QH3f-/s320/GSPhoto_BradenHale-18.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are sweet too. You love your mama, ask everyone around you--"You okay?," love your family, and like to help. This year we gave you my favorite thing
we’ll ever give you—a sibling. A brother, Bennett. You adore Bennett. Your dad
jokes that if we need to punish you, we should just take Bennett away. You pet
him, you kiss him when you’ll kiss no one else, you make him laugh hysterically, you give him toys and animals,
you feed him bottles, and you insist on doing all of this on your own. </div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
You are also bad. You learned how to say “mine,” take things
that aren’t yours, and throw tantrums. You step right up to a line and your press your toe on it while you look around grinning. Yaya and Bapa say that's how I was, and there's something in me that makes me giggle at your badness.</div>
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You have an iron will. You’ll hear
stories your whole life, but know that your dad and I believe you will be a leader. You will
learn discipline, self-control, and patience, and you will become a courageous,
confident man who does justly, loves mercy, and walks humbly with your God.
That is my prayer for that badness. Because I know our God—and He takes bad and
makes it so, so good.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
You are obsessed with playing with your dad. When he walks
in the door from work, you refuse to hug him but you yell something that sounds
like, “Dada—chechu!” (Translation: “Dada—get
you”) which means that you’d like him to chase you around the house telling you
he’s going to get you. Before he answers
or even has time to kiss me hello, with a mischievous grin--you run away
confidently because you know your daddy will chase you. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are confident your daddy will chase you. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I love that. I love that he’ll help you understand how your
other Daddy chases you. </div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The act of parenting is utterly changing my soul. It is not
a sudden thing, but it is a process that I feel begun the day you were born.
With all the fun comes nights of anxiety, fears over doing this whole thing “right,”
and exhaustion because I know I never will. Leaning into Jesus has taken on an entirely new meaning. It is not just a path nor help that I need. I once heard that we are like caterpillars in a ring of fire--the only way out is from above. I think that sums it up well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your dad and I are working hard to learn how to honor your
personality, nurture your gifts, and give you the boundaries that you crave. We
want your heart changed, not just your actions. And we want our hearts changed too. </div>
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You have changed us. You teach us how to
love unconditionally, you make us laugh all the time, and you fill our
home with noise! I love the way you take a running belly flop into life. <br />
<br />
<br />
I adore you and there is nothing you could do to take that away, Braden Matthew!<br />
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I love you,<br />
<br />
<br />
Your Mama<br />
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</a></div>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-32916634136828612532012-05-01T21:40:00.001-07:002012-05-01T21:42:50.304-07:00Bennett's Procedure UpdateBefore I begin the update, I really have to say thank you. Jed and I were entirely blown away at the outpouring of encouragement and love, and we feel honored to call so many of you our friends and family. We received so many texts, facebook comments and messages, and e-mails that we literally did not have time to respond to them all. Our fabulous iPhones were jam packed with whispers of encouragement when we had chances to check them, and it was incredibly uplifting and beautiful for us. We did receive the comments quickly, and the Holy Spirit used them to comfort us. Thank you for being the body of Christ to us when we needed you. <br />
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Last Thursday we arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. in order to check in. Bennett slept in his carseat until close to seven, and when he woke up, he did not seem hungry. This was something I was incredibly worried over as we were not allowed to feed him after 2 in the morning. He is usually starving, and he was smiley and beautiful, and my eyes literally filled with tears when I realized God was already answering the prayers of our community.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is after the nurse took blood. I think I was more traumatized than Bennett.
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When we were first taken back, a nurse had to take Bennett's blood. Hindsight--This was the most difficult part of the whole day. It took awhile for her to find a good vein, and he screamed for probably 10 minutes. Jed was stable and comforted him while I stood 5 feet away slowly losing it until I was a puddle with my fingers in my ears. During the last bit, I was able to suck it up and kiss on him while she drew the blood out. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh461qv4-y49J0ppcyB3OChyphenhyphenzwz_l8WpjrsrpxUyVTZVaEaYBtbY2xET9hyytwoQN9gnwVZTchiF5pVEIm7YoHZtFUhMetpbS_jy-g2LgIxk7ODw98ArYX5br3Qb_vuOTUZZKNZ69VFGqUB/s1600/b15.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh461qv4-y49J0ppcyB3OChyphenhyphenzwz_l8WpjrsrpxUyVTZVaEaYBtbY2xET9hyytwoQN9gnwVZTchiF5pVEIm7YoHZtFUhMetpbS_jy-g2LgIxk7ODw98ArYX5br3Qb_vuOTUZZKNZ69VFGqUB/s320/b15.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mom calls Bennett our koala. The way a koala bear is to a tree is the way Bennett is to whoever is holding him. Imagine the snuggling capabilities here. He truly has such a calming, sweet demeanor.</td></tr>
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After his blood was drawn, my parents, Ashley, and Jed's mom were able to come back to see us. We prayed as a family over the boy, and I was feeling awesome. Really. I was trusting of the incredible doctors and nurses who were explaining everything so well, and ready to get the procedure over with!<br />
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The nurses sent our families back out to the waiting room, and Jed and I followed the nurses and doctor through the halls while we held Bennett. They took us to pick out a toy for Bennett, which was so incredibly meaningful. Right--so we picked one Braden would like and we gave it to him later. I'd call us resourceful, but I don't want to brag.<br />
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The nurses then asked us to hand the baby over. We kissed on him and told him we loved him as his eyes filled with tears....wait, I forgot, he actually had no idea what was happening and went willingly to the sweet nurse because she probably thought she had good food.<br />
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So Jed and I walked down the halls back to the waiting room, and when we walked out of the doors and saw parents, grandparents, my sister, Jed's boss and his wife (who are also sweet friends of the family), and my friend--every emotion that I'd felt in the previous weeks as well as that morning hit me upside the head. I cried into Jed's chest for a few minutes because I have a little flair for drama. Just kidding--I actually tried to will myself to stop and it only made it worse. But I wasn't kidding about the flair for drama. I try not to--but I'm dramatic. You'd be bored if I wasn't.<br />
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You're welcome.<br />
<br />
Back to story.<br />
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So the next part is boring and involves lots of food, coffee, looking at youtube videos, and my grandfather talking about family genealogy. All these things helped to keep my mind from fa-reaking out.<br />
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And a couple of hours later--I got a call on my cell phone saying that they were finishing up and moving him to recovery ASAP.<br />
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Half an hour later--the doctor was showing our family a video of the cath, the balloon that they used to stretch his pulmonary valve, and his beating heart. Incredible. Modern technology meets science meets anatomy meets cardiology. I'm totally blown away by it.<br />
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So then they kicked our family out and Jed and I were whisked away to recovery to see our boy. Selfishly--I was glad we were alone. I didn't want anyone talking to me and just wanted to stare at that gorgeous child.<br />
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And I did.<br />
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He was so perfect. The nurses said he talked to them until the gas made him fall asleep at the beginning of surgery, and in recovery, he was tired, but he was perfect.<br />
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Perfect I say!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">His legs were strapped to the bed for a few hours so that he could not mess up the incisions.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seriously, Rox brought a goodie bag the day before. She's possibly the most thoughtful and encouraging human ever. I need lessons stat!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And Lill misread a text I sent and thought I said I was going to be hungry. So she made muffins. FOUR kinds. Yes. I know I'm spoiled. And I'm glad she misread that, because I WAS hungry, and I did eat those muffins.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jed was finally able to hold his boy.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhydMroUplDb8G2VozvyXZQCaa5PxV05wzl320YICBGl5mmcG7bpSK8EipWp00MNvST-mQoSKfi3SJ2-EXBG5nwSHyYiSeLFGMW85alLTMrdpAnVzTMnMxv4MFME2cRRvB30LixZyH1ALGV/s1600/b7.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhydMroUplDb8G2VozvyXZQCaa5PxV05wzl320YICBGl5mmcG7bpSK8EipWp00MNvST-mQoSKfi3SJ2-EXBG5nwSHyYiSeLFGMW85alLTMrdpAnVzTMnMxv4MFME2cRRvB30LixZyH1ALGV/s320/b7.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In love with them.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aunt Ash came back up to the hospital to visit.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtLDhxt6u-BUc1op-jcYV6UqanzpLq0P8nSu4TKxTSI4Uzp2YxSZLZsy73kMD943NNei2Er1cjvREV-_gAq_IRPnJD4UShU5r4A2Jn584KuK1z9cqvuuUSAYTUteJO0bv9AUAGqpaAUbkK/s1600/b3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtLDhxt6u-BUc1op-jcYV6UqanzpLq0P8nSu4TKxTSI4Uzp2YxSZLZsy73kMD943NNei2Er1cjvREV-_gAq_IRPnJD4UShU5r4A2Jn584KuK1z9cqvuuUSAYTUteJO0bv9AUAGqpaAUbkK/s320/b3.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kisses for my boy.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9HRDEdRYqa-9LCmz2zyOl9lqGCeSlX01hWIheLldBIdAixqUlUezJEwbqGVnSrlPD8m7mFpsM6z8j2-wmNkFGoj_eWOMiFOnXxMdCIqFEAiGDrmFEP3nmK6lxSzOn828uB7VcWfy3isoS/s1600/b4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9HRDEdRYqa-9LCmz2zyOl9lqGCeSlX01hWIheLldBIdAixqUlUezJEwbqGVnSrlPD8m7mFpsM6z8j2-wmNkFGoj_eWOMiFOnXxMdCIqFEAiGDrmFEP3nmK6lxSzOn828uB7VcWfy3isoS/s320/b4.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bapa and Yaya came back to spoil Bennett a bit. Look at that fat baby!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs1NP1ATbBFbVMF7BBMD7CG85t37MhKqQP7o_sTb5cVLwsBSOoGLv21kyOBFnK5pHdgjVO75WV1ku6S_kV83h2iHdLE1jBlLqmuATvy1VnGqjqgoTAGj-fcfoJrdRmV0lCc3acUrRJNXiA/s1600/b5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs1NP1ATbBFbVMF7BBMD7CG85t37MhKqQP7o_sTb5cVLwsBSOoGLv21kyOBFnK5pHdgjVO75WV1ku6S_kV83h2iHdLE1jBlLqmuATvy1VnGqjqgoTAGj-fcfoJrdRmV0lCc3acUrRJNXiA/s320/b5.JPG" width="240" /> </a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Braden was able to play with Wyatt (or Wydatt as he calls him) for the day, and they were able to play with Isaac too--who probably taught them algebra--because Isaac is like a professor already.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These are our relieved faces after we crashed on the hospital bed and chair. We were exhausted!</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4xdy4inex6LMeVv0_4Ud9y-KUMNR7UCwkzsEKXkqIgYnsT5DTCjqfOgZMVncNOUcy_525qatAi-3Vm1v4Q9dWYzfdCABBB0A8iRjArasgq7h5apkYYN_tKXhAcryzCfp-5MD8-zLvB-sa/s1600/b10.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4xdy4inex6LMeVv0_4Ud9y-KUMNR7UCwkzsEKXkqIgYnsT5DTCjqfOgZMVncNOUcy_525qatAi-3Vm1v4Q9dWYzfdCABBB0A8iRjArasgq7h5apkYYN_tKXhAcryzCfp-5MD8-zLvB-sa/s320/b10.JPG" width="239" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKIIZf74CQA_ouDhGZDPVxHYtD77xITRlmq_h43b0OjEMi-o_Z-Lz58q4aVX1QTVa_XwiT8RnEkxt07r1CW5jB2ZHqMBvpAzhBiOaRv703nQAcxlq7_vF0GLdic19VrDnAXQzGdsQutJ6U/s1600/b12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKIIZf74CQA_ouDhGZDPVxHYtD77xITRlmq_h43b0OjEMi-o_Z-Lz58q4aVX1QTVa_XwiT8RnEkxt07r1CW5jB2ZHqMBvpAzhBiOaRv703nQAcxlq7_vF0GLdic19VrDnAXQzGdsQutJ6U/s320/b12.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid2sEzGcQRH_UgKpTDjSgKkw-WrxyuvjfjVJjlx7-ZLmwEGpbpEDCuMFltI7-uMIAY8N-IzwOd9inUoUr6ByTx5OkdPmGShJ5ot-K5ep1ALSciONukp2y9LTZ38INGnDCLxW0C4S8OMGmk/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid2sEzGcQRH_UgKpTDjSgKkw-WrxyuvjfjVJjlx7-ZLmwEGpbpEDCuMFltI7-uMIAY8N-IzwOd9inUoUr6ByTx5OkdPmGShJ5ot-K5ep1ALSciONukp2y9LTZ38INGnDCLxW0C4S8OMGmk/s320/photo.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wish I got more pics of his visitors, but I love this of Bennett with his Bapa and Yaya!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtMPDeRGQuIXyV1ylnZmFsp_Ae0zp-fLgI6DPrJNilimp-nUJheP5f2IGmpxlUcn5YXH-thzKRIJP83TYUTc_-mpCG-g58rCPl3gdb-8-a9jycwoob94_zhEd-yd2WceLqav4-S651hYn7/s1600/b9.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtMPDeRGQuIXyV1ylnZmFsp_Ae0zp-fLgI6DPrJNilimp-nUJheP5f2IGmpxlUcn5YXH-thzKRIJP83TYUTc_-mpCG-g58rCPl3gdb-8-a9jycwoob94_zhEd-yd2WceLqav4-S651hYn7/s320/b9.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And this is TWO days later. Braden begged to have Bennett in his crib with him. </td></tr>
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God really carried us through that day, and I feel like I'm finally getting recovered. I promise that I was more traumatized than anyone. And this makes me very happy. Bennett has little incision marks as well as some bruising, but his spirits are back to normal, and he's recovered so well. He's a little warrior man, and we are blessed beyond belief to have him as our son. <br />
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Bennett has an appointment with the cardiologist again in two weeks, and we are hoping that the echo shows that the procedure worked as well as the doctors thought, and that he will not have to have the procedure again.Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-36857733985063264132012-04-24T09:28:00.001-07:002012-04-24T11:23:40.973-07:00Bennett's Heart ProcedureBennett Anderson Hale, our second son, was born on December 13, 2011.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI1RtT1-WA73hKrHqb2h1BWl8mGMml9cuVgFhK3N9f4OFEk3rh2jY-lhe0hT7gLHPxeYA49mk7y_xKoU8mVgl6b87Zll-OnKC-fDnJ5f-cRAbF262NmP40tVdue4jeE-I_pm-D204U0iNx/s1600/IMG_9062.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI1RtT1-WA73hKrHqb2h1BWl8mGMml9cuVgFhK3N9f4OFEk3rh2jY-lhe0hT7gLHPxeYA49mk7y_xKoU8mVgl6b87Zll-OnKC-fDnJ5f-cRAbF262NmP40tVdue4jeE-I_pm-D204U0iNx/s320/IMG_9062.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I found this in my den during a lazy day</td></tr>
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As soon as he was born, the nurses informed us that I had a two vessel chord. Most have a three vessel chord but for some reason, my body decided it wanted to use only two vessels to send life-sustaining goodness to Bennett. During the development and growth of a baby, several miracles occur. By several I mean millions. And at the same time that my body chose a two vessel chord, it also formed Bennett's heart and kidneys.<br />
<br />
I <i>grew</i> a heart and kidneys.<br />
<br />
I grew a <i>heart</i> and <i>kidneys</i>.<br />
<br />
I grew a heart <i>and</i> kidneys.<br />
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No matter where the emphasis, it's pretty miraculous, huh??<br />
<br />
A.D.D.<br />
<br />
I'm back!<br />
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Long story short: During this period, Bennett's kidneys were perfectly formed. His heart, on the other hand, was formed with a flaw: a pulmonary valve stenosis.<br />
<br />
According to the American Heart Association this means:<br />
<br />
<i>A thickened or fused heart valve that does not fully open. The
pulmonary valve allows blood to flow out of the heart, into the
pulmonary artery and then to the lungs.</i><br />
<br />
<i></i>A pediatrician heard a heart murmur in Bennett the morning after he was born. Immediately, Dr. Dane Douglas, a pediatric cardiologist, was called in and he found the pulmonary valve stenosis causing the murmur. The walls of his valve are thick, and therefore, the blood has a more difficult time flowing through into the pulmonary artery.<br />
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As he has gotten older, Bennett's heart has gotten worse. Therefore, this Thursday, Bennett will have minor surgery to repair his heart. It is called a valvuloplasty and here are the details from PubMed Health:<br />
<br />
<i>Percutaneous balloon pulmonary dilation (valvuloplasty) may be used when
no other heart defects are present. This surgery is done through an
artery in the groin. The doctor sends a flexible tube (catheter) with a
balloon attached to the end up to the heart. The balloon stretches the
opening of the valve.</i><br />
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Jed and I are confident in the abilities of the doctors that we have been referred to and have seen God's hand moving since the beginning. Some cool things:<br />
<br />
-After we were assigned a "random" cardiologist (Dr. Douglas), we found out that he was our pediatrician's first choice for who he'd have us see. Our pediatrician is Dr. Harry Phillips who we utterly love and adore. He has known Dr. Douglas for several years and loves him.<br />
-After we were set to visit said "random" cardiologist, I found out that it is the very doctor that my good friend, Lillian, works for. Lillian had a heart transplant several years ago and respects and loves this cardiologist and his wife. Good reference if you'd asked me!<br />
-Our visits to the cardiologist's office were amazing. Mary, Dr. Douglas' wife, performed two of the echocardiograms, and we fell in love with her as well.<br />
-We have been referred to a surgeon, Dr. Rush Waller, who we have heard amazing things about from a close friend of mine and who has also performed caths for Lillian. Lill knows the Memphis cardiologist world pretty well, and I trust her opinion greatly.<br />
<br />
Praise God for calming our fears with much of the above.<br />
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Sunday Bennett was baptized and it was such a sweet time with our family and friends.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHB6RMFTQpLAt4EEFfsYKyv6ao8mj4IaAd2vTjbsqslSP_HFJHn0o1ENj9qjj5D5jDzSuKInZhFv4EPLWf1aP9m10E2i7IBNs87DPWaGapMcVcqUcnAgrT8NW4m7OK7yyDJlY5Za_CNI0c/s1600/IMG_9425.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHB6RMFTQpLAt4EEFfsYKyv6ao8mj4IaAd2vTjbsqslSP_HFJHn0o1ENj9qjj5D5jDzSuKInZhFv4EPLWf1aP9m10E2i7IBNs87DPWaGapMcVcqUcnAgrT8NW4m7OK7yyDJlY5Za_CNI0c/s320/IMG_9425.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My daddy baptized Bennett on Sunday.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg15vVgpIvsIouClc8b_K-STwuQ_B6Ja47JXWtW-YtPwcEURfsfaJUobH6tmrKxYciQcXCKdZQaBqQqUqqEJ043pdlHkQJwwJhKaUdwc77NVERCvrfi0MtqeDxT41fBPpbOqQ0AKpHAI8k8/s1600/IMG_9432.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg15vVgpIvsIouClc8b_K-STwuQ_B6Ja47JXWtW-YtPwcEURfsfaJUobH6tmrKxYciQcXCKdZQaBqQqUqqEJ043pdlHkQJwwJhKaUdwc77NVERCvrfi0MtqeDxT41fBPpbOqQ0AKpHAI8k8/s320/IMG_9432.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Remember the pictures on this same couch 19 months ago? Yeah...the little boys have grown up quite a bit.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBGEbVjo1P9aWtQmPcmiTy3l4eTQiRdWt62IGLcIFCshdf6PJhm-OWa2mhRd4sH95mhS8UgtD2gtGxx2NEd5Xn6ND07i8J6bram0pLKxEKIW-Jg_d3Rw-swvNy5UXAjNXaWFQLfn-4lxiB/s1600/IMG_9452.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBGEbVjo1P9aWtQmPcmiTy3l4eTQiRdWt62IGLcIFCshdf6PJhm-OWa2mhRd4sH95mhS8UgtD2gtGxx2NEd5Xn6ND07i8J6bram0pLKxEKIW-Jg_d3Rw-swvNy5UXAjNXaWFQLfn-4lxiB/s320/IMG_9452.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Braden truly adores his little brother.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9UOv5cNdasQZh8d6WkCv0kSzvu_3azt5gpkvOEGrboaClkUlBKu8Y9uFlzW460cuSo_XHf7eILboLzIipflM-QKtgstCEmFq04p4FqiV71_RDf3GBvxMdRazjyh05Td63u9G0qbLRCYRY/s1600/IMG_9457.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9UOv5cNdasQZh8d6WkCv0kSzvu_3azt5gpkvOEGrboaClkUlBKu8Y9uFlzW460cuSo_XHf7eILboLzIipflM-QKtgstCEmFq04p4FqiV71_RDf3GBvxMdRazjyh05Td63u9G0qbLRCYRY/s320/IMG_9457.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Braden kissing on Bennett. This is a regular occurrence in our house.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCxPdWE6FwOuzvubLVlSFk0pEnKOpEL2tSZ4bWuYkzAlwKO1bE5QMzTXt7m2CLntalsbAIcfUwlG35HU9pLx3Yexj4rT3feKdz7dhfYZ5P0H_Z4y32GBy03GUbhAS5JS3FiMXNtAtCZUFc/s1600/IMG_9481.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCxPdWE6FwOuzvubLVlSFk0pEnKOpEL2tSZ4bWuYkzAlwKO1bE5QMzTXt7m2CLntalsbAIcfUwlG35HU9pLx3Yexj4rT3feKdz7dhfYZ5P0H_Z4y32GBy03GUbhAS5JS3FiMXNtAtCZUFc/s320/IMG_9481.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture fails are probably my favorite part of parenting. I don't think I need to explain what was going on here.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggfCuxXtOICH5br8_2BkfoU00iVwv7G_Zs3P1mNptzwAuwqmehnpTkaiL10DiB0pL5rHYoz-KBwN4HTx4NQ5oWJxnnonBUENWs2az-nXGkdTAw7SZ3XfQ-thGaK84ZdJeAmIeswK8NNe4n/s1600/IMG_9491.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggfCuxXtOICH5br8_2BkfoU00iVwv7G_Zs3P1mNptzwAuwqmehnpTkaiL10DiB0pL5rHYoz-KBwN4HTx4NQ5oWJxnnonBUENWs2az-nXGkdTAw7SZ3XfQ-thGaK84ZdJeAmIeswK8NNe4n/s320/IMG_9491.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We'll never have a great family shot again.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQ9KlfaQqhvFAdyR_0Qnjacrbyb68Zi-IyHPPjQuU8NpLboCKpXGlGna-Jxx-YXD7rShsEFhO7BzH2nE66IwEMTgJN_jDrlvy4O4NgOLMKlzIsR_UZO1ad9znALzdw_GupJVx3xvz7iSu/s1600/4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQ9KlfaQqhvFAdyR_0Qnjacrbyb68Zi-IyHPPjQuU8NpLboCKpXGlGna-Jxx-YXD7rShsEFhO7BzH2nE66IwEMTgJN_jDrlvy4O4NgOLMKlzIsR_UZO1ad9znALzdw_GupJVx3xvz7iSu/s320/4.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So many friends have surrounded us during this time with Bennett. We are so grateful for our church community, our small group, our family, our close friends, and the NICS community. Here are the Youngs with our little man. </td></tr>
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Please pray for us as we prepare for Thursday with Bennett:<br />
-Pray that the surgery would be successful and that the surgeon's hands would be steady.<br />
-Pray for the emotional wreck of a person that I might be that morning. :)<br />
-Pray for Jed and me as we see Bennett through the recovery hour. Specifically--please pray that Bennett would come out of anesthesia well and with no complications. <br />
-Pray that the Holy Spirit would move on Thursday. Jed and I long to see Christ in everything, and we long to give Him glory for that.<br />
-Pray that God would draw our family together through this. Jed and I have had some major stress on our marriage these last few months (personal issues, discipline issues with Braden, the chaos of two children, figuring out my work situation, etc.), but God has used it to draw us together in a really new way. We have been given opportunities to know each other in new ways, and our friendship has grown through that. Pray that this would continue and that we would feel and know the Holy Spirit is responsible and at work!<br />
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Thank you in advance for praying with us! We have been so humbled at the amount of people who have loved us well through this. God has truly blessed us beyond anything we deserve.Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-11989632106878584732012-03-30T11:13:00.006-07:002012-03-30T14:13:23.273-07:00iPhone DumpA week in March--in no particular order because I truly am not a perfectionist and do not feel like putting them in order. Get used to it. It's like a state of the union address. Whitney=scattered.<br /><br />Nate, Ashley's fiance, plays the pedal steel for a band called Unkle Daddy. I'm not exactly the biggest country music fan, but this group could turn me into one. For real, ya'll.<br /><br />They packed out the bar Saturday night and we had an awesome night.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxPpZHUeUefEwFe6WqsAi3U4uzxHJoNntCN83l_A1Dn46_li8DrjtLlhXe3KARYpufBdQtysIhIDUANDFVEfdDAS2DAVHk00UbAXFE27HkQBtws_M9br-LvuK5k8pjFLX233k7Ur_q0G1p/s1600/nate.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxPpZHUeUefEwFe6WqsAi3U4uzxHJoNntCN83l_A1Dn46_li8DrjtLlhXe3KARYpufBdQtysIhIDUANDFVEfdDAS2DAVHk00UbAXFE27HkQBtws_M9br-LvuK5k8pjFLX233k7Ur_q0G1p/s400/nate.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725770720121752914" border="0" /></a>Braden and his friend, Ju-Ju rockin' the swings at the park. I'm not sure what Braden is more obsessed with--Ju-ju or swinging.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii4vmyK3dDE3T-HLJJrDDeTj1_37TG3zbNTOSEAekoUO5-rYIvOtL-Q4YMgtGWolu69MZc5OOXaXQXxm_2uhSfjT7Lw80S7yr9AQ7UaaYvd2zTIFaXVOR8efj1GEHv3e_4lBiEuY97NQze/s1600/juju.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii4vmyK3dDE3T-HLJJrDDeTj1_37TG3zbNTOSEAekoUO5-rYIvOtL-Q4YMgtGWolu69MZc5OOXaXQXxm_2uhSfjT7Lw80S7yr9AQ7UaaYvd2zTIFaXVOR8efj1GEHv3e_4lBiEuY97NQze/s400/juju.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725770713401786066" border="0" /></a>Only picture this month of me and hubs. A girl at church told me that when I don't have my kids, I act "fancy and free." This was our night out watching Unkle Daddy.<br /><br />I like to think this is my fancy and free look.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhedOmTd9cG-dqnl2welSbS9uCFENN2wtWdsdTnok6bLZ-1PmZsw32wBSrSWDki3Kp1dAvnp_LJxSZbsmLrGLvWeL68ax28nb5EnNnozF2K5LLZOJ8aMdX7rTkCyjIKRQInthpB6U1Waz-U/s1600/hubs.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhedOmTd9cG-dqnl2welSbS9uCFENN2wtWdsdTnok6bLZ-1PmZsw32wBSrSWDki3Kp1dAvnp_LJxSZbsmLrGLvWeL68ax28nb5EnNnozF2K5LLZOJ8aMdX7rTkCyjIKRQInthpB6U1Waz-U/s400/hubs.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725770702703845218" border="0" /></a>Just to prove that this is what our house is like 70% of the time.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlmp97hjNpvqQ-PzFts6XTuE2mfKoq7Or-qT07lav7AGeNDP0Qw3gOervrPqi1TtxZmYWhGzE8RJjpJzrwYQ1s6StXM5IvPBlP_cDngU8-NQ4sEapTH6htrR_Lfnw-I3ja9RcGJBkg66bH/s1600/unhappy.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlmp97hjNpvqQ-PzFts6XTuE2mfKoq7Or-qT07lav7AGeNDP0Qw3gOervrPqi1TtxZmYWhGzE8RJjpJzrwYQ1s6StXM5IvPBlP_cDngU8-NQ4sEapTH6htrR_Lfnw-I3ja9RcGJBkg66bH/s400/unhappy.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725770734873699138" border="0" /></a>Our oldest B man loves to ride anything with wheels. When he's at his Grandpa's, he's begging to ride the Gator, and when he's with his Bapa, he's begging to ride the golf cart. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrTGmApYXk6WJ8CyxsV51MhwpDAdM5YFhujHUhyqFO9QiNMm_lWGJNsIE2E1oRug1IKkuJ2Ya1xVql9YuqaLSaEhvBbmj0iSJ3YlcKJ2fp_7gKtG5rLG-3h4WW97BhGGIwreqfyFzmTJiv/s1600/grandpa.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrTGmApYXk6WJ8CyxsV51MhwpDAdM5YFhujHUhyqFO9QiNMm_lWGJNsIE2E1oRug1IKkuJ2Ya1xVql9YuqaLSaEhvBbmj0iSJ3YlcKJ2fp_7gKtG5rLG-3h4WW97BhGGIwreqfyFzmTJiv/s400/grandpa.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725763401710721682" border="0" /></a>Here is a depiction of my brain from 4-7 p.m. I made some delicious Beef Stroganoff in the crockpot and proceeded to make broccoli to go with it in the microwave. The next morning I opened the microwave to find this still in it. Brain=fried. Thank you, children.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXyHrKTz9mXTpsA5rzAd7OVCI-H7sgv2B4UjnEZkKsC0vdr4NwLh8SOWgResKkhH8gmkivAGkflZNl5IqHAhPT-hAh9KIXqNIGyBHaHl9rmygJCSxIxZHW3CU082Grh4Hv_DPaThyphenhyphend0KTz/s1600/broccoli.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXyHrKTz9mXTpsA5rzAd7OVCI-H7sgv2B4UjnEZkKsC0vdr4NwLh8SOWgResKkhH8gmkivAGkflZNl5IqHAhPT-hAh9KIXqNIGyBHaHl9rmygJCSxIxZHW3CU082Grh4Hv_DPaThyphenhyphend0KTz/s400/broccoli.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725763389885756002" border="0" /></a>My mamma smocks my boys stuff. I love it.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEQOJzwwNyQcfa6Da1w1vqWg_-VajaDcGYX5ECf4g6wAMwo8m9xvsjaaRKUfFQ_r3MmxZ2h4-_q6SNVK5jdbvEShur5J56Wgqc6q4Cwq01UQKBU0ZuDJ_EQOuBbkD8j-ZVkH5G1ovvorBB/s1600/bennett2.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEQOJzwwNyQcfa6Da1w1vqWg_-VajaDcGYX5ECf4g6wAMwo8m9xvsjaaRKUfFQ_r3MmxZ2h4-_q6SNVK5jdbvEShur5J56Wgqc6q4Cwq01UQKBU0ZuDJ_EQOuBbkD8j-ZVkH5G1ovvorBB/s400/bennett2.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725763385640161586" border="0" /></a>Bennett man. He's such a stud. And he's got me wrapped around his finger!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggENW04n8PtrKnF7UsAXCyENsPRx7qKOiJ-b6gZazOlZCPz8hZv_8kxYRwbCYjSS77N7j0m5q9HI5DpbB44WhHG4EwCN-yrYdzwADtcsdtsXu6UrXizmz6FsECBR4icE8jSEwgDmzAZYuJ/s1600/bennett.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggENW04n8PtrKnF7UsAXCyENsPRx7qKOiJ-b6gZazOlZCPz8hZv_8kxYRwbCYjSS77N7j0m5q9HI5DpbB44WhHG4EwCN-yrYdzwADtcsdtsXu6UrXizmz6FsECBR4icE8jSEwgDmzAZYuJ/s400/bennett.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725763379543952034" border="0" /></a>These boys rock my world. In the best way possible. They make me need Jesus. And boy do I need Jesus!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRQ2JYjJL2m_uNlAPo2_oceMvtikAFBAsIyRHrf6bYIhmzDqL3Jwtq97Z2bNImoT5J52cFsI0xZjFFn4GxulrFK8KgpTSHc22p9TIpM5Kln9jn6_m3sRDBehbYn_YdrKWuT2Sf61xW3tvO/s1600/happy.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRQ2JYjJL2m_uNlAPo2_oceMvtikAFBAsIyRHrf6bYIhmzDqL3Jwtq97Z2bNImoT5J52cFsI0xZjFFn4GxulrFK8KgpTSHc22p9TIpM5Kln9jn6_m3sRDBehbYn_YdrKWuT2Sf61xW3tvO/s400/happy.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725763411523694786" border="0" /></a>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-66630384632905863412012-03-19T12:11:00.001-07:002012-03-19T12:12:57.914-07:00I Joined the Crazies!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> 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mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">This part is really hard for me to write about for some reason. I feel so incredibly weak and pitiful admitting some of this. I despise appearing that way, and I really despise <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">being</i> that way. This is not a moment where I need someone to tell me how wonderful I am. How I really am stronger because of all of this. Because simply--that is not true.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I really am broken. I really am shattered. And I have absolutely no hope in myself. I am so broken that all of this pitiful depression is just the very tip of the iceberg. It is worse than you think it is, and it is worse than I think it is.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But I know one thing:<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Because of Jesus’ finished work on the cross, God really does love me. He not only forgives me and overlooks my brokenness, he accepts Christ’s righteousness as mine.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am preaching now because I need to be preached to. It is the only thing that keeps me from falling apart some days. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">So here’s what it felt like at this point in the story:</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I really struggled with the medicine thing. I have always thought that if people struggled with depression or anxiety, they could will themselves out of it. I thought that there was some way to pull myself up by my bootstraps, pray enough, or just be happy. I was wrong. I tried so hard. Those of you who have struggled with depression or anxiety or both know what I’m talking about--you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">know</i> it’s ridiculous, you<i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"> know</i> that you shouldn’t be wallowing, you<i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"> know </i>that there’s more to life, but it doesn’t feel like it anymore. You suddenly have no control over your feelings and you suddenly cannot will yourself into contentment anymore. It is scary. I had nightmares every night that were dark and disturbing. I had mornings where the only reason I got out of bed was because I knew Braden would be in bad shape without me. I felt alone even though I had friends and family around. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">So with the support of friends and family, I asked my doctor for medication. I told him about the nightmares and the anxiety and it did not take much before he gave me a little smile and confirmed that I was struggling with post-partum depression. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Woot.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I joined the crazies! I did. I left with a prescription for some anti-anxiety/anti-depression medication, and I took that stuff. And I was better for it. I slowly became myself again. I could give of myself to those around me again. I actually wanted to be with people again. And Jed and I—we started doing much better. I was pleasantly surprised that I did not feel extremely happy or different. I just felt normal. I could handle a difficult conversation or argument, and I didn’t have to hide after 10 minutes of being around people. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Tired of talking about it for now, so I’ll be writing a few light hearted blogs before I get back into the very serious and depressing stories. <span style="font-family:Wingdings;mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Wingdings"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Wingdings"></span></span></p>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-26147013630548958442012-02-24T12:15:00.004-08:002012-02-24T12:26:52.622-08:00The Baby BluesThanks to Brooke Ledbetter Photography, here's my favorite pic of my two boys. When I look at it, I feel like they might be perfect. 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name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif][if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]-->Those of you who know her know that I am incredibly blessed with a mom who rocks. She really does. She was preggers at 18, had me at 19, and the rest is history. Because of her experiences—she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">pours </i>herself into encouraging me and my sisters. She has always told me I have the ability to work hard enough to do whatever I wanted. She never put a stipulation on what occupation I chose—she wanted me happy more than she wanted for me to make millions or even a large number of thousands to buy her a ski boat. Although, I’m pretty sure she’d still like a ski boat. And if I can’t do that, she’d probably settle for a tennis court. She loves tennis almost as much as she loves Dad—what was I talking about? <p class="MsoNormal">I have ADD. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">My mom also encouraged me to not have children young (I had already done what she’d said not to and gotten married at 19). Let me define “encouraged.” She <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">threatened</i> me. As in, “If you don’t finish college first and have a baby instead, I’ll <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">kill</i> you.” You don’t wanna make my mamma mad. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Trust</i> me. You see, my mamma knew something. She knew I was going to have a hard time. Because she had a hard time. She knew I’d look at that little boy straight in the eyes every time he woke me crying for a feeding, and she knew I’d fall in love to an extent I never fathomed. She knew I’d then be confused when at 11:30 in the morning, I’d want to run out the door and feel accomplished at a job or make some money and I’d feel sad so I’d want my first beer of the day. She knew that then I’d feel guilty for feeling like that and I’d beat myself up. She knew that then I’d look at that little boy again and cry because then I’d be happy again, and I’d never want to leave his side, and I’d want to kiss his little face, his soft hands, his perfect little feet—I’m gushing. And then I’d clean the house and get mad because Jed wasn’t helping me clean the stupid house and instead he was working and he got the fun job and got to keep his sexy body and run all the time while I got stretch marks and an extra 20 pounds I had to starve myself to lose. I didn’t really starve myself. But to me, eating healthy and dieting feels like starving. I like dessert. And bread. And wine. And dessert. And pizza. And dessert.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">You with me still?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am not trying to communicate that I was miserable. I am also not trying to communicate that I am not grateful for my son. Lastly, I am not blogging as an outlet for me to whine. Well, maybe sometimes, But that’s beside the point.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am communicating that I was hormonal, happy, tearful, joyful, resentful, laughing, bitter, and content all rolled up in one ball. “Not possible,” you may say! Let’s have lunch.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So back to my rockin’ mom. All this time, she was saying that maybe I needed to consider that I might be struggling with some anxiety and some post-partum depression. Psh! Not me! I don’t do that. There is nothing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">wrong</i> with me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">You see, my entire family knows that my life mantra is, “I do it myself!” You are stuck on the incomplete grammar part. Stop it. I was two when I adopted it as my own. My parents would attempt to sing along with a song I was singing, and I would explain to them my personal belief by desperately screaming, “I do it myself!” At the ripe old age of 26, I was still crying out, “I do it myself!” when my mom would suggest that I might need some help.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But I did eventually give in. When Braden was six months old, I had reached some sort of desperation. So I invited a friend over who was wise and who could speak into the subject. She’s a counselor, and she spent 5 minutes listening to me before she said. “You need some medicine, girl!” </p> <p class="MsoNormal">And now--I'm going to get the entire pile of our belongings from behind our front door because I think Jed might want to walk in it to come home at some point. Poor thang. And sorry for the abrupt ending. I'll write more later.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-69752020018635189012012-02-21T14:19:00.002-08:002012-02-21T14:28:12.764-08:00The Anxiety Begins<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> 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mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">After Braden was born (May of 2010), Jed began a normal adjustment period—exhaustion, frustration with our new life, joy in our son, getting used to my being a mom <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">and</i> wife, happy moments, rough moments, etc. And I began to be anxious.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>I entered some very dark times. I worried constantly about what would happen to Braden. I worried about how I would get to him (literally 30 feet from my bed) in the middle of the night if someone broke in. I worried about whether or not he’d stop breathing in the middle of the night. I worried about what would happen to him if someone broke in, murdered Jed and me, and left him there helpless and alone. I worried I’d be raped. I had incredibly invasive thoughts in the middle of the day which would stop me in my tracks and literally cause me to weep in fear. I could not sleep at night for fear of missing something that happened to Braden. I cried on a very consistent basis—as in, every day at least once. My fears dangerously mingled with my emotions, and I was not myself.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">During this time, I tried so many fixes to make it better. I knew that my fears were absurd, and I’d tell myself that even in the midst of an invasive thought, but it didn’t help. I’d quote Scripture, preach God’s promises to myself, and pray. These would work momentarily, but then my brain would wander and I’d begin a horrible scenario all over again. I’d feel guilty because I felt like I was not experiencing Braden the way that I was created to experience him. I felt ungrateful, sinful, and dirty for having these thoughts because I knew in my head that I had a healthy baby, a supportive husband, an incredibly loving family, etc. Who in their right mind would feel sad? Who in their right mind would have thoughts about things that had never threatened them before?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Don’t get me wrong. I also had moments of joy. Believe it or not, I fell more in love with Jed during this time period. He was so strong, so supportive, and so gentle with me. I also so enjoyed getting to know Braden and witnessing new life. I snuggled him and prayed for him and loved him. But I felt so fragile.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">This entry is so depressing. Ha! Promise that it gets better....ish. :) But now I have to go watch Bennett grin. He's in a good mood, and I'm not about to miss his infant babble!<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Bubye.<br /></p>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-22345590393301887742012-02-20T11:43:00.003-08:002012-02-20T14:17:35.978-08:00Your Maker is your Husband!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> 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<w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif][if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:";font-size:100%;" >I saw this passage on a friend's blog today...</span><b style=""><span style=" Baskerville Old Face","serif";font-family:";font-size:20pt;" ><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="font-family:"Baskerville Old Face","serif";mso-bidi-font-family:JasmineUPC;font-size:20.0pt;" >Fear not</span></b><span style="Baskerville Old Face","serif"font-family:";font-size:14.0pt;" >, for you will not be ashamed;<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span>be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span>for you will forget the shame of your youth,<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span>and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="Baskerville Old Face","serif"font-family:";font-size:22.0pt;" >For your Maker is your husband,<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span>the LORD of hosts is his name;<br /></span></b><span class="apple-tab-span"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="Baskerville Old Face","serif"font-family:";font-size:18.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span></b></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="Baskerville Old Face","serif"font-family:";font-size:18.0pt;" >and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span>the God of the whole earth he is called.<br /></span></b><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="Baskerville Old Face","serif"font-family:";font-size:14.0pt;" ><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span></span></span><span style="Baskerville Old Face","serif"font-family:";font-size:14.0pt;" >For the LORD has called you<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span>like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span>like a wife of youth when she is cast off,<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span></span>says your God.<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span>For a brief moment I deserted you,<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span></span>but with great compassion I will gather you.<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span>In overflowing anger for a moment<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count:3"> </span></span>I hid my face from you,</span><span style="Georgia","serif"font-family:";font-size:14.0pt;" ><br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></b></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="Baskerville Old Face","serif"font-family:";font-size:18.0pt;" >but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”<br /><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></span>says the LORD, your Redeemer.</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="Georgia","serif"font-family:";font-size:14.0pt;" ><br /></span></b><span style="Baskerville Old Face","serif"font-family:";font-size:14.0pt;" >Isaiah 54:4-8</span><span style="Georgia","serif"font-family:";font-size:14.0pt;" ></span></p>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-59813619660486005592012-02-19T12:07:00.002-08:002012-02-19T12:14:57.517-08:00Five to Ten, Baby!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> 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<w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif][if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">One of my New Year’s Resolutions is to write more this year. I know you totally guessed that by the fact that I haven’t even told you that Bennett was born in December and instead I just posted a picture of the picture that I still have not mailed out because I suck at my to do list lately (did I say lately? I was deluded for a moment. I meant always.). Apologies for that precious run on sentence.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">This writing thing sounds easy. It is so hard. I know what I want this cute little space to be. I know I need a new header (nobody said I was a techie). I know what I need to write about and I even think God has called me to write about some specific things. But it’s very difficult for me because I am a people pleaser and I wonder what people will think. I wonder how if it will affect my undeniably professional image *cough*. I wonder if my more conservative friends and family will be embarrassed. I wonder if people will expect more out of me—like maybe they’ll expect me to be a nicer person or to have it together more or to wear cuter clothes or learn how to put on makeup the right way or stop biting my nails.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But I also know that it shouldn’t matter if those things happen. Part of my resolution is that it doesn’t matter who reads or doesn’t read this blog, I just know I need to write because I really feel convicted that it is what God wants me to do. I have a hard time listening to Him, but in church when Daddy or Chris preaches or our worship team is leading us in worship, I hear the Spirit telling me to write sometimes. It kind of embarrasses me to write that. Like my whole Presbyterian life I thought that those crazies who God spoke to were, well, crazy. And then He brings me to a new place in my desperation for Him and He starts to ask things of me because He wants to show me some things.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So I’m actually going to try to write for just 5-10 minutes a few times a week. And I’m going to stop the expectations on myself that I need to write for longer, and I may even have to end a blog mid sentence because Bennett’s diaper just exploded or Braden turns the graphics sideways on the computer (like he did this morning when I was in the other room keeping a very watchful eye on him and NOT reading tweets. ahem.)</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And there's the end of that one. I think I wrote for 12 minutes because I’m an awesome mom and Braden and Bennett are actually sleeping. Or maybe I just forgot to turn the monitor on.<br /></p>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-22341154004778404372012-01-29T19:07:00.001-08:002012-01-29T19:07:36.265-08:00Photo Card<div class="sflyProductPreviewWidget" style="width:425px; height:494px;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetTop" style="height:6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/top.gif);"></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetCenter" style="height:482px; padding: 0 6px 0 6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/bg.gif); background-repeat:repeat-y;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewLogo" style="width: 105px; height: 34px; padding: 14px 0 0 14px;"><img src="http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/logo.gif" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none; box-shadow: none;"></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewContainer" style="height:350px; text-align:center; padding: 0;"><a href="http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0Kct3DVw3aOLA&cid=SFLYOCWIDGET&eid=115"><img src="http://images-community.shutterfly.com/prs/v1/0Kct3DVw3aA/0Kct3DVw3aA4s/p/67b0de21b3127d902548/JPEG/1327892847000/0/" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none; box-shadow: none;"></a></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewMessageContainer" style="height:55px; background-color:#f4f4e9; text-align:center; padding: 15px 0 15px 0; line-height: 19px;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewTitle" style="font-family: arial, sans-seris; font-size: 15px; color: #333333; font-weight: bold;"><span>Welcome Banner Boy Baby Announcements</span></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewSEOText" style="font-family: arial, sans-seris; font-size: 13px; color: #333333;"><span>Personalized cards for babies, <a href="http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/valentines-day-cards-and-stationery" style="color: #6666cc;">Valentines</a>, Easter and Mother's Day.</span></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewViewCollection" style="font-family: arial, sans-seris; font-size: 13px; color: #333333;"><span>View the entire <a href="http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery" style="color: #6666cc;">collection</a> of cards.</span></div><img width="1" height="1" border="0" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none; box-shadow: none;" src="https://os.shutterfly.com/b/ss/sflyshareprod/1/H.15/111?pageName=sharekey&c1=msc&c2=blogger" /></div></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetBottom" style="height:6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/bottom.gif);"></div></div>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-53687727309261980392011-11-27T13:27:00.000-08:002011-11-27T18:23:56.129-08:00OctoberJed recently took a business trip to Korea and Malaysia. Was I jealous? You can't even imagine. But more on that later. I did not do a whole lot while he was gone besides be jealous, work, and tend to Braden; but I did have the honor of having Eli and Jude spend the night one fine Friday evening. Rox, one of my oldest and best friends, is their mamma, and you have no idea how much I love her and her family. Anyway, here are the kiddos playing outside together.<br /><br />Eli, the super serious oldest child, does not exactly enjoy having his picture taken, but I did get one good one of his sweet face. :)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIDh_bGr7ukx5O7hDrDtgOSPJXSq4AAkNC91Tf5wgzu_jD1CfTT18aBvkK8FuRjOXVsgaSur79pmV_hfKqsV7TzEuNVgGPNAjnxLrsfiMgcW7Xso1zP4SWr4LFoquDCkH3XPhN8VyfZE5_/s1600/edit+3.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIDh_bGr7ukx5O7hDrDtgOSPJXSq4AAkNC91Tf5wgzu_jD1CfTT18aBvkK8FuRjOXVsgaSur79pmV_hfKqsV7TzEuNVgGPNAjnxLrsfiMgcW7Xso1zP4SWr4LFoquDCkH3XPhN8VyfZE5_/s400/edit+3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679791464274778162" border="0" /></a>Jude--aka Ju-Ju, on the other hand adores the camera and was created to perform.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimfufbrXkpqW4mAUVAQLmdewPrAl0KmDQtE5Sp5c_NliYlb9Njh_EdZNvPgYGuNjA4ufRwKt_HpZy6z2PhQfU_IhsBWStdX-m-t4s2-OE1clNtZ_HdaCoo3vBm7KpDkHpSN-O44pHWsdEp/s1600/edit+2.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimfufbrXkpqW4mAUVAQLmdewPrAl0KmDQtE5Sp5c_NliYlb9Njh_EdZNvPgYGuNjA4ufRwKt_HpZy6z2PhQfU_IhsBWStdX-m-t4s2-OE1clNtZ_HdaCoo3vBm7KpDkHpSN-O44pHWsdEp/s400/edit+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679791446375985970" border="0" /></a>Braden loved having them here...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjie80pOeKYpQNX-9HDvEaSPpVbndVtQ1unnSgpXMPH3JPP-6i9DeNE5ZIP3jWnDjkoeDGMOcEf8j3fpwzlsXETIvYkLarWgCKpK5qWnaniDrrnssbO7ByUbPnJXwgPufEwq4Tu6wU7DDBc/s1600/edit+1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjie80pOeKYpQNX-9HDvEaSPpVbndVtQ1unnSgpXMPH3JPP-6i9DeNE5ZIP3jWnDjkoeDGMOcEf8j3fpwzlsXETIvYkLarWgCKpK5qWnaniDrrnssbO7ByUbPnJXwgPufEwq4Tu6wU7DDBc/s400/edit+1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679791442625422546" border="0" /></a>And when Jed returned, Halloween was quickly upon us. Here's Mario trick-or-treating at his Grandma's house. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_8OZk1atOvJ8y26lKtzNPXbAz6hiKqcFPhi64EI9QhE0mrgUxeM8mvABTavtJc6DaK-ICs-OGz_YQND-P8JNqcMExrN6dbCF01P0a_55O561pKODqcCJS_KGNu9LbRWcU3bI2mnF72gKi/s1600/edit+5.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_8OZk1atOvJ8y26lKtzNPXbAz6hiKqcFPhi64EI9QhE0mrgUxeM8mvABTavtJc6DaK-ICs-OGz_YQND-P8JNqcMExrN6dbCF01P0a_55O561pKODqcCJS_KGNu9LbRWcU3bI2mnF72gKi/s400/edit+5.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679863871395734434" border="0" /></a>We went downtown with a few other families and kiddos and had so much fun trick-or-treating for the 45 minutes that it lasted. Here's Wyatt, Braden's partner in crime, Luigi!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3LRmOoLpU2VnSYUpEXB3zIwVMZV90aKogZ62hxUMI5I_V1_NPXNOCagw6rz7_Ra0uakrzur8pW1sT9NyEEXYgxcj0p53OCqthnJKiQYb4L5DyHYeotA-nIu6Z18L9JKlhA0Xutw023CA2/s1600/edit+6.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3LRmOoLpU2VnSYUpEXB3zIwVMZV90aKogZ62hxUMI5I_V1_NPXNOCagw6rz7_Ra0uakrzur8pW1sT9NyEEXYgxcj0p53OCqthnJKiQYb4L5DyHYeotA-nIu6Z18L9JKlhA0Xutw023CA2/s400/edit+6.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679863869014594802" border="0" /></a>Eli and Ju-ju, the awesome superheroes!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcVmcX9JiJHuqpEzaxtUpWouFqFg0yJ7OjT6BC-BUO6xdzU1ecGHgJoCqLIlyjUDkGI-P_U6UgJN4hl9qxSzlIz6Wu1I5bFxoiO1yYY31UAv-TFfgWLUE0u2DKAmNj6wYqlcKlu8zfMZ1f/s1600/edit+7.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcVmcX9JiJHuqpEzaxtUpWouFqFg0yJ7OjT6BC-BUO6xdzU1ecGHgJoCqLIlyjUDkGI-P_U6UgJN4hl9qxSzlIz6Wu1I5bFxoiO1yYY31UAv-TFfgWLUE0u2DKAmNj6wYqlcKlu8zfMZ1f/s400/edit+7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679863858508770162" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTip3wxGrHEPOS48Zk4_aSl2Itl3HWAxb0-tRJY0_5JF_uoMJYRCCRd9-GNZfCleqoUAQ6YMv7MGCYuOhs58BGr2LxolQIhkZJXIIu5cm_iUQc2PeehaWDKqQoZtWxTheKAZ1rOyQ6SdVG/s1600/edit+8.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTip3wxGrHEPOS48Zk4_aSl2Itl3HWAxb0-tRJY0_5JF_uoMJYRCCRd9-GNZfCleqoUAQ6YMv7MGCYuOhs58BGr2LxolQIhkZJXIIu5cm_iUQc2PeehaWDKqQoZtWxTheKAZ1rOyQ6SdVG/s400/edit+8.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679863855490507346" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSHRCsxgwajSO7gqcrJe2XvzUr5Lxa2gqt6StT_rE8NSLjiuuDXMd_ziSoTDZckNDqfFI8e_FNMvWMDnihWDLILouIi4hbTsSH_fkuS-57kz5QnSKU9iL09dyNQinWJ15wBTmTWNP2LECV/s1600/edit+9.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSHRCsxgwajSO7gqcrJe2XvzUr5Lxa2gqt6StT_rE8NSLjiuuDXMd_ziSoTDZckNDqfFI8e_FNMvWMDnihWDLILouIi4hbTsSH_fkuS-57kz5QnSKU9iL09dyNQinWJ15wBTmTWNP2LECV/s400/edit+9.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679791475922280290" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibYkLZEXkCEPSZKbiX24CPDTx79LEOK_sa1UU3OL_mUvIvf8Buz25BNtzhXoz4sMx9lVC-i_9kDj-8-aYKTFVvWrSP4kg16uJcwswzf5_LC3T_JJNsySJ58G-uYEuXVZ4nTCHOQN3xvmYE/s1600/edit+10.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibYkLZEXkCEPSZKbiX24CPDTx79LEOK_sa1UU3OL_mUvIvf8Buz25BNtzhXoz4sMx9lVC-i_9kDj-8-aYKTFVvWrSP4kg16uJcwswzf5_LC3T_JJNsySJ58G-uYEuXVZ4nTCHOQN3xvmYE/s400/edit+10.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679791463640341922" border="0" /></a>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-50255780440905346472011-11-24T19:23:00.001-08:002011-11-24T19:25:43.539-08:00There Were Never Such Devoted Sisters<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi33t-QuhNvAkq5oB63noDIqWZbg5Tv8JR44jNeVvJEQPe5I50QsI_4hh96VXct7KSkXydpNH3WexRC915El7BjiV2uilXBEYVjyJRCIMmCWJGjm88_XA80flaJCnPLA5JPW_oWGQwCSuIO/s1600/Rieves+Girls.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi33t-QuhNvAkq5oB63noDIqWZbg5Tv8JR44jNeVvJEQPe5I50QsI_4hh96VXct7KSkXydpNH3WexRC915El7BjiV2uilXBEYVjyJRCIMmCWJGjm88_XA80flaJCnPLA5JPW_oWGQwCSuIO/s400/Rieves+Girls.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5678769358398569202" border="0" /></a><br />I felt like you'd like another picture, so here it is....my amazing sisters whom I love and adore more than life itself.<br /><br />The picture editor is at http://pixlr.com/o-matic/<br /><br />Did I tell you I'm in love? Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving!!Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-37513896482130237252011-11-18T14:15:00.000-08:002011-11-18T14:19:19.879-08:00Random<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKj3vr_cZdcfqbW-lqKIj7hBu6MVO_5QzsDfkO9MhBUB8RAd8fsFSKFDd5_Jhk5q9k9T9O1jz0f8tki37FcvTqSiqE4l4jgvpfZwt-autPiWjirBFOUK_aD3N0qkcCSsVYIjsVRzpT52eH/s1600/Haircut.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKj3vr_cZdcfqbW-lqKIj7hBu6MVO_5QzsDfkO9MhBUB8RAd8fsFSKFDd5_Jhk5q9k9T9O1jz0f8tki37FcvTqSiqE4l4jgvpfZwt-autPiWjirBFOUK_aD3N0qkcCSsVYIjsVRzpT52eH/s400/Haircut.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676463707070544418" border="0" /></a>*A Hair Stylist's Nightmare*<br /><br /></div>A friend sent me the coolest picture editor today. So I needed to try it out. This is from June...can we say sliiiightly overdue?<br /><br />I've had a rough few months but am now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I'll write more about that later. I keep saying that, and I am obviously a liar. Oh, well...you can't always be good.Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-72392730293234997212011-10-04T08:28:00.000-07:002011-10-04T08:55:24.401-07:00The New BlogI have successfully watched July, August, and September pass by without writing. You're welcome. I wish I could blame it on the pregnancy, a time of peace and respite in my life, or something else noble. But it is because I've been such a wreck that I have had no clue what to write about. I probably need to post an update on our lives, on Braden's little evolving world, and post some pictures. And I will. But I also am going to write about what I have been going through, and what I am still going through. <br /><br />Warning: this blog is about to change, and I am not going to be advertising it on facebook or anywhere else, but if you know someone who is struggling through similar things, you are welcome to share it. And if you're embarrassed for me that I am writing this and *gasp* putting it on the WORLD WIDE WEB, you can unfollow me or stop reading my blog. I will NOT be offended. :)<br /><br />Ask me about my marriage, my child, my spiritual life, my job, my opinions, and I'll tell you everything you want to know (and everything you DON'T want to know...I'm quite a talker). And therefore I create a mirage for others that I have it together and I have some answers! But the truth is that I am actually private about things until I have been through them and have come out alive, better, and with an important lesson to teach others. I have been incredibly convicted of my motives for this over the past month. I do NOT want you to know that I am struggling. I want you to know that I've struggled. I do NOT want you to know that I fall apart on a regular basis. I want you to know that I have fallen apart before. I do NOT want you to see me cry, know that I feel insecure and vulnerable, or know that I don't have it together. I want you to know that those are all in my past and now I have it together because I am superwoman, I am an awesome wife, and I am the perfect mom all while working and overcommitting to the max degree. All of these are lies from the pit of hell. I AM struggling, I AM falling apart, I AM crying a lot, I AM insecure, and I AM NOT any of those awesome things I mentioned a minute ago. I have also had some of the darkest nights of my life in the last few months that have been filled with anxiety and I have not wanted to get out of bed some mornings.<br /><br />God has been gracious enough to place a couple of close girlfriends and a few close family members in my life who have walked with me through the last few months. And they are still walking with me. I have felt loved by them and not judged, and I have really needed it. I have not needed answers or 10 things to make it better, and they have gotten that. They have listened, loved, and said, "We're here and we're not leaving." <br /><br />I HAVE needed my Daddy's sermons, and I HAVE needed worship in a completely new way. I am learning to fall in to the arms of a Father who UNDERSTANDS, who sees my weaknesses, who dances over me when I am sobbing, and who gives me sufficient grace, righteousness, and joy in the midst of pain. <br /><br />I am going to use this blog as a place for me to talk about the dark nights, the struggle to "get" God, and the weakness that I have experienced. I am not fixed, and that is my story. It will be until the day I die and God restores and fixes everything about me. But I have a God who heals me and who wants me and who sent his son to do everything I wish I could do for me. And I'm going to fall more and more in love with the reality of this. <br /><br />Whew. I'm exhausted. More later....Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-83251254361900170792011-08-22T08:31:00.001-07:002011-08-22T08:31:59.730-07:00Thanks, John Bunyan!John Bunyan:
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<br /> Sometimes when my heart has been hard, dead, slothful, blind, and senseless, which indeed are sad frames for a poor Christian to be in, yet at such a time, when I have been in such a case, then has the blood of Christ, the precious blood of Christ, the admirable blood of the God of Heaven, that run out of His body when it did hang on the Cross, so softened, livened, quickened, and enlightened my soul, that truly, reader, I can say, O it makes me wonder!
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<br />The Doctrine of the Law and Grace Unfolded (London, 1708), 183.
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<br />I swear I'll be back to write about what's been going on in heart and home very soon...but for now, know that this verse is quite defining for me right now.Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-73766298584447236182011-07-07T07:20:00.001-07:002011-07-07T07:22:34.669-07:00Blogging at RuminateI've long been a Poetry Reader for the literary magazine, Ruminate. I LOVE the magazine and am honored to read the submissions each round and help decide who will be published. <br /><br />Today I blogged for their blog what's been on my heart lately. :)<br /><a href="http://www.ruminatemagazine.org/blogs/the-busy-whirl.html"><br />Click here to Check it out!!</a>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-14469581307177981832011-06-20T06:59:00.000-07:002011-06-20T07:20:03.700-07:00Loving Difficult PeopleHave you ever had someone wound you by being "ugly" (as my mamma would say)??<br /><br />Have you ever had someone completely drive you crazy and annoy you half to death?<br /><br />Have you ever had someone accuse you of something you legitimately did not do?<br /><br />Have you ever wondered if someone's mamma didn't spank them enough?<br /><br />Have you ever become a hermit during certain events because you wanted to avoid a certain person?<br /><br />Have you ever wondered if people think that about you?<br /><br />I haven't. <br /><br />Just kidding. It happens often to me, and I don't handle it well. Sometimes I bottle it up. Sometimes I practice to the mirror what I'd say back if he/she said that again to me. Sometimes I fall apart and cry. And almost always I mentally defend myself because I feel like what God says about me is not enough. <br /><br />I've been struggling with my response to people who hurt me over the last 6 months or so. So a couple of days ago I found Beth Moore's "Loving Difficult People" study on youtube. Some of you just read Beth Moore and are really excited, but others of you (possibly my Presbo friends) are thinking that she's not what the pastor recommends. I was in the same boat a few weeks ago--but now I say that when you give me the name of another FEMALE who has recorded Bible Studies that are Biblically sound and speak to me like this, I'll listen to her too. :) <br /><br />Anyway, check the first part out Here:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-pEs7YpuIE&feature=related">Loving Difficult People</a><br /><br />And once you listen to it, on the right side you can choose part 2,3,4,5, and 6 as well. Part 6 kicked my butt. I listened to the whole thing during my workout this morning. It. was. awesome.<br /><br />Also, does anyone follow someone's sermons or Bible Studies that really speak to you? I'll listen to men but am particularly even more interested in women speakers. :) Comment much if you have ideas for me!Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-372443683496790242011-06-15T19:18:00.000-07:002011-06-15T19:21:16.863-07:00First TrimesterFirst Trimester....CHECK.<br /><br />I'm 13 weeks yesterday, and the child is the size of a medium shrimp. Unfathomable that my medium shrimp already has veins, organs, fingernails, and more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries if she's a girl. Hopefully. Not hopefully she's a girl. Hopefully he developed all that other stuff. If not, I'm still pretty sure we'll love himher the same.Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4618177254658544127.post-34104081102954918342011-06-14T04:45:00.000-07:002011-06-14T04:51:45.160-07:00Rejoice!Let's just say I can't wait until Sunday morning. :)<br /><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/eylgfDI3VYo" allowfullscreen="" width="480" frameborder="0" height="390"></iframe>Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com0