Christmas Fa-reakout

Aren't they the cutest tree-trimmers you ever saw?? I'm pretty obsessed. If only all of December were this lovely.


Every year around December 23, I have a Christmas freakout. No, a Christmas FA-reakout. It's inevitable. Jed and I normally have 9-5 jobs (this year mine is from 9-9--as in it never stops, a thank you very much), I have to shop for all the family (this includes 27 people this year), we have Christmas party after Christmas party, we HAVE to put up a tree and decorate, we have to take a Christmas card pic and send out a million, and on and on and on (you get the picture). Don't get me wrong. It's the most wonderful time of the year and all that, and I have fond memories and feelings associated with Christmastime, but around December 23, I fa-reak out.

Usually this is the scenario: Jed comes home from work, I have dinner cooking and a drink poured for him, I am wearing a cute winter dress and apron, and then I sweetly tell him that I'm a bit stressed.

NOT!!!!!!!!

Real scenario: Jed comes home from work, I am looking a hot mess, he can hardly get to the kitchen because of all the wrapping utensils and gifts on the floor, I have no thought of dinner because our house is not stocked with drink OR any type of food that could go together for a "meal," and then I say, "I NEED YOUR HELP! I STILL DON'T HAVE GIFTS FOR 9 PEOPLE AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'LL GET THEM AND THE TRAFFIC IS SO HORRID IT WILL TAKE 8 HOURS TO SHOP FOR EACH OF THEM INDIVIDUALLY WHICH LEAVES US WITH NO TIME FOR ALL THE ENJOYING EACH OTHER I WANTED TO DO".

And then my face starts to scrunch up and do the pre-cry thing and I say, "I J-J-JUST W-W-ANTED CHRISTMAS TO B-B-BE GOOD THIS YEAR, AND I C-C-CAN'T STOP FREAKING OUT IN MY H-H-HEAD BECAUSE I DON' T HAVE THOSE GIFTS YET, AND NOW I'M A BAD WIFE B-B-BECAUSE WE HAVE NO FOOD OR COCKTAILS, AND OUR HOUSE IS A WR-WR-WRECK AND HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO ENJOY WAKING UP ON CHRISTMAS EVE LIKE THIS?"

And then I start baaaaaawling, "HOW CAN YOU STILL LOVE ME? I'M CRAZY. WOULD YOU HAVE MARRIED ME IF YOU KNEW THEN I WAS CRAZY? OH, AND I HAVEN'T DONE ANY LAUNDRY BECAUSE OF ALL THE CHRISTMAS PARTIES WE WENT TO THIS WEEK, SO WE'LL HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR FOR CHRISTMAS, AND YOUR MOM CALLED AND WE NEED TO BRING A CASSEROLE TO THEIR HOUSE TONIGHT, AND WE NEED TO TAKE HOMEMADE BISCUITS TO MY PARENT'S HOUSE IN THE MORNING. AND I HAVE TO BE AT THE CHURCH LATER TONIGHT TO PRACTICE SINGING FOR TOMORROW'S CHRISTMAS EVE SERVICE AND I'LL HAVE TO BE REALLY EARLY TO THE SERVICE TOMORROW AND WILL THAT FRUSTRATE ANYONE??? I TOLD YOU I'M CRAZY. WHY AM I CRYING? I LOVE CHRISTMAS! (desperately) WHY AM I CRYING!!!????"

So this year I'll add, "AND BRADEN WON'T STOP CRYING AND HE BARFED ALL OVER HIS CHRISTMAS OUTFIT, AND HE HAS POOP UP HIS BACK, AND HE NEEDS DINNER EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE TO WALK OUT THE DOOR IN 5 MINUTES, AND HE HAS NO CLEAN CLOTHES EITHER, AND I'M OUT OF DIAPERS, AND I NEED YOU TO RUN TO THE STORES FOR THOSE, AND I FORGOT STOCKING STUFF FOR HIM!"

So my Christmas resolution is to NOT have quite as big of a break down this year. I think eliminating it would be nice, but let's be realistic! I think I'd like to have the gifts already bought, food in the fridge (oven pizza?), and maybe not be outta diapers.

Merry Christmas Home-home-homeboy!

Oh, and thanks, babe, for putting up with me. :)