Thursday, February 10, 2011

How Braden Came to Be....Part III

I just need to point out a couple of the reasons why I wanted kiddos (still want's present and past, people.)

Reason #1-Mi beautiful familia. Spanish is obviously my first language...but for reals, I adore my family. I'll talk about them a lot. I have two younger, beautiful sisters, a gorgeous mom, and a handsome daddy. AND I have so much fun with them. They breed fun. And trouble. But mostly fun. OK being honest-mostly trouble. We look so sweet here in our white though.

Jed's family too. He has three brothers who are all married. And his oldest brother has two kiddos--Kellyn and Gabe. They got good genes. Do you people see those gorgeous children?? Those are my nephew and niece. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on them I needed one! I needed one who'd look like them, who came from the same gene pool, and who could stir up trouble like them. Oh yeah, and they're smart and sweet too. Sigh.

Aaaaand back to the Braden Story. We'd finally told our family and a couple of close friends. And we all boo-hooed.

Jed was by my side for everything. He came to my frequent doctor's appointments and covered well at work, and he coached me through the decisions we had to make. After a few months of Metformin not helping my body out too much, I had a doctor's appointment in July that Jed could not attend. That morning we talked, and I told him I'd just tell the doctor let's keep going with the plan, BECAUSE I WAS OKAY! (My voice gets big when I'm lying). My mom called, found out I was going alone, and said she was going with me. She's like that. She has super-sonic-bad-A-mom-powers that I don't get yet. She knew the appointment could be difficult. She also told me I shouldn't be afraid to be honest with the doctor and communicate that I was tired of Metformin and getting frustrated. But I told her I'd be fine, and that I wasn't frustrated. I was fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Is there a stinkin' echo???

When Dr. Detti walked in the office that my mom and I were waiting in, I was excited to talk to her. She outlined our plan with Metformin again and I nodded and smiled, and at the end, she asked, "How are you feeling?" I said, "Fine." And my mom gave me that you-are-lying-you-little-hoochie look that moms give really well. so I said, "Well, I'm a l-l-l" and my voice started quivering and I looked down and couldn't finish. And then it happened. The flood of tears. I was humiliated and crying to the fertility doctor. I cried, "I'm a little frustrated because we really want a baby and I feel like we've been waiting forever and this medication is fixing nothing..." And you know what that doctor did?? She handed me Kleenex and said (in her beautiful Italian accent), "Alright. We should be a bit more aggressive and try some fertility medication." That's it. That's all it took. I thought she'd make fun of me and tell me I'd only been trying for a year and some people have to try for way longer. Nope. I thought she'd tell me that only really crazy people try real fertility drugs quickly. Nope. It was like she was a real doctor and she'd actually dealt with women trying to get pregnant for years! Imagine that!!

(Skip this paragraph and the next if you don't like womanly reproductive stuff and just know I got some meds :) I warned you, I did!) So I left the office with a prescription for Clomid--a fertility drug which induced ovulation-- and an injection that I would take halfway through my cycle if I was producing an egg. They would know if I was ovulating because a week and a half into my cycle, I'd have an ultrasound on my ovaries. I felt triumphant. I just knew this was the answer and that it would work! I was so hopeful. So I called Jed and after he got over the initial shock that he'd missed the appointment when I'd had a meltdown in front of the doctor and been prescribed fertility drugs, he was alright with it as well. Smart man.

A little over a month later we made an appointment to have the ultrasound to make certain everything was going well. I just knew it was. Of course it was! I was on Clomid. Clomid is responsible for many of the world's multiple births! Who wouldn't ovulate on that? Right? A sweet ultrasound technician prepped me and called Jed into the room. As she looked at my ovaries, we saw what they call a pearl strand of cysts--very typical of a PCOS patient. And then we saw nothing. No enlarged follicle and no ovulation. I. was. so. sad. I burst into tears. The technician said to get dressed and that she'd come back in a moment. When she came back, I was sobbing in Jed's arms. I don't know why. I don't think I'd even cried for the previous month! Evidently I was pitiful, because the technician started to cry too and hugged me. She kept saying, "Stop making me cry. This is so normal. This medication rarely works the first month. Don't worry about it. It will probably work next month. Don't cry. You will get pregnant." I was humiliated that I couldn't keep myself together.

It is now appropriate for me to tell you about my secret family.

This is our fiesta to celebrate the anniversary of a family house fire. Another story. Another time. Don't tell our families that we have a third family. They get jealous.

Where was I? Oh yes! We left the appointment and it took me a couple of days to recover and decide I'd live. Ha. I really was alright. I knew we'd make it, and I knew that getting pregnant during month one on Clomid was probably unrealistic. So we lived on. Jed had a business trip to China planned, and so we decided that we'd drop the whole pregnancy thing until he got back and just enjoy life for a few weeks. I'm always jealous when he goes on his overseas work trips, but I'm also always really excited for him.....this is where the story gets really good. And Part IV will be the last part of the pregnancy story, I swear!!

Oh, and how could I forget? Reason #11111 to have a baby! When you go to your friend's son's 1st birthday party and he's soooo cute you can hardly stand it. You should definitely give birth to friends for him! It's only fair and only right. It's all about the friends, man.

Those blue eyes.....kill me.


Emily Lauren said...

I am LOVING reading your story!! I had no idea what you were going through! :-/ I'm SO GLAD that you have Braden!! I love him so much, and he brings little baby joy into my baby-less life! :)

Kelli said...

you are so real :) I love that. xoxo

Jessica Kenney said...

Whit, its so neat to read your story. I was on Clomid for a while and it took us almost 2 years to have Colton! I have been there and know everything you are talking about! Love you friend and so thankful for sweet Braden! He is too handsome!

Roxanne said...

I think you need to update every single day. I agree with Kelli, you are SO real. It's refreshing to read.