I have been coping with feelings of insecurity, self-esteem, and anxiety during the first trimester of this pregnancy. The nausea and lethargy have been a real challenge for me. I can handle the sickness itself, but the results have welcomed some dark moments for me. I am a do-er. I like to get things done, check things off my list, have the house clean, have people over for dinner, work, read, volunteer, get out and be active with my family, and spend time with Jed. And I really like to exercise. Exercise is my way of gathering endorphins and energy, my inspiration for eating well, my sense of accomplishment, and it just plain old makes me feel good. But during the first trimester, chasing a one year old around and pushing through the bare necessities (grocery trips, work, etc.) has been all I can handle.
Last week I began feeling better, and this week I began my exercise regime again. Right now my calves feel like someone is stabbing them, my butt is hardly sittable, my quads are screaming, and my back is difficult to turn. But I feel good. I feel tough again like the warriors that we women are. I feel strong, like I can “do,” and playing with Braden is a joy once again. I also don’t feel quite as insecure or ugly. This has nothing to do with looking better just the feeling better part.
So I went and spent a bit of money on badly needed maternity clothes. Jed was just ecstatic (Sarcasm, people.)
Anyway, my point is that I need exercise in my life. Evidently I am quite a miserable being without it and I feel terrible about myself. Dr. Tinker told me that some things are chemical and cannot be controlled by reading the Bible or praying more. I now believe him even more. I believe God gave me exercise to rejuvenate me…He designed me like this, and I am going to take advantage of it. Even if I am too pitifully out of shape to run my 3 mile route in the miserable heat. I like my Tony Horton, and I will let him kick my butt indoors.
So today I am raising my glass to exercise!
I have no good connection, but here is some of the fun Braden had this week.
Wyatt is moving and so he came over to get a break from his parents and all the ugly boxes. And Eli and Jude stopped by to say hello for a bit in the afternoon.
Our washing machine box turned house (although this confused Eli because technically there is no door). I love these boys, and Braden thought he was so big playing with them.