Identity Crisis

I have no idea what to do with my life. I have tried verbally processing my plans, goals, ambitions, and dreams with Jed and Mom and my friends and everyone who will listen (geez, maybe I AM really obnoxious after all. *wink*). This doesn't seem to help. As much as I appreciate all of the advice, I get confused with all of it. I still don't know what to do. That isn't saying that I am doing nothing, I just don't know that what I am doing is right.

I try thinking about all of the things that I love: talking to people, community (so I guess people in general), reading, writing (when I get to it), being a control freak, good art (inclusive of visual art, good writing, theatre, and good music), looking at blogs, making lists--the list could go on forever. I have loved my "job" at Ruminate-choosing the poetry, and other random odds and ends of things and want it to survive. And so I've thought, as opposed to commiting all my time to it, maybe a good use of time would be to get a job where I can learn how to help Ruminate survive the small and poor world of Christian people who care about good art and writing. So I would LOVE to learn how to write grants or learn to be a good marketing and PR person. So how do I learn how to do this? Getting a job doing exactly one of these things is going to be difficult. I am not saying that the jobs are not here, I just don' t know how to go about finding them. I am going to begin exhausting my resources this week-basically, just talking to people I know here, and asking for direction and for them to keep their ears open. SO, if anyone knows anyone who knows anything about this, TELL ME!

((SIDE NOTE-I really don't KNOW that this is what I want to do, it just makes sense in my head, so if anyone hears of any OTHER openings that would be fun or stimulating, let me know, I'll be happy to talk about it. (Now you know that I really have no direction, I just need a job!) ))

In the meantime, I am applying to substitute teach at my high school and in local county schools. This certainly pays more than I am making now-nothing!

If anyone would like to pay for career counseling or would like to counsel me--remember that I'm not picky, but must have a job that pays decent, that I would like, where I'm not stuck behind a desk all day, that I can do part-time with children, oh, and okay, really it shouldn't pay decent, INCREDIBLE would be better, and while you're thinking-is there anyone who would just pay me to just do what I want to all day? (just kidding ab all this....kind of, *wink*)

Am I just proving the title of this blog?